


unlock my heart

by impilusa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, Domestic, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Roommates, a bit of angst, forget about the timeskip in the manga pls, oikawa locks himself in the bathroom, ushijima asks too many questions, ushijima knows his poop schedule
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27486388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impilusa/pseuds/impilusa
Summary: oikawa knows he shouldn't have said what he said. but he did, and now he's locked himself in the bathroom running away from the pain he caused to the person that is so important to him - even though he can't admit it, not yet.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 88





	unlock my heart

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this in my drafts since forever and I just wanted to publish it. It's trash, don't expect too much, but I liked the idea of Oikawa slowly developing feelings without realizing until it's too late :)

The way Ushijima looked at Oikawa earlier that day shouldn’t have affected him that much. 

But it did. 

Indeed, it did a lot more than he would ever admit. That look got stuck on his heart, like a fucking arrow straight to his vital organ, making him bleed.

He shouldn’t have said that. He knew he shouldn’t have, but his mouth has always been even quicker than his own mind. Even his best friend, Sugawara, told him he was a little too much of a bitch sometimes, even when it was unintended. He just had the tendency to hurt people, like his copying mechanism, just to keep his own heart safe.

But was it worth it, when it hurt Ushijima like that? Was it?

He sighed and looked up at himself in the bathroom mirror. He knew he had to go out eventually or people were going to start asking about him - Sugawara, over anyone. And he just didn’t want to face him yet, not at least to talk about what he was feeling.

He should have not felt like this, in the first place. After all, Ushijima was just a friend...

Oikawa rubbed his own hair until it hurt. When, when, when? When did it start? 

Oh, yes.

When Ushijima and him moved together on the last day of the last month. Just eighteen days ago.

Not even Oikawa knew why on earth he agreed to share an apartment with Ushijima. He was alone, yes, and he was searching for a roommate after Sugawara left him to move in with his boyfriend. 

But why Ushijima? Why? 

Oikawa and him didn't match at all. Indeed, they were rivals in high school and all because of volleyball. Or maybe it was just Oikawa who thought of Ushijima as a rival, at least until the graduation day. After that, they kind of ended up hanging out with the same group of friends, because they were all suckers for volleyball.

But him with Ushijima? They didn’t talk at all for a while, to be honest. At least not for the first times they got to hang out together, because their rivalry wasn’t something to take at ease. It was something that had been feeding itself up for three years at least, and it couldn’t just be ignored like that. So that was why Ushijima and him only started to get along (or something like that) after more than four or five encounters with their group of friends.

And the reason why they started to know each other was volleyball. Of course.

Oikawa knew that if he hadn’t gotten very interested in Ushijimas’ point of view, this situation wouldn’t have happened in the first place. Because getting interested in his view of volleyball led to learning more about Ushijima itself. And that, well, that wasn’t something Oikawa was planning to do in the first place.

And of course things had to get off his hands and he ended up almost craving - it was pathetic - for getting to know Ushijima more. Yet the worst thing about it was Ushijima wanting to do the same with him. They grew closer with each month, to the point they even exchanged messages every day (he even taught Ushijima to send emojis and all that millennial stuff). It was like they were friends, but what if they were actually more? 

God, the first time his heart stopped after a message from Ushijima, and then his face blushed as if he was told the most beautiful compliment in the world (which wasn’t the case) Oikawa got so fucking scared that he just wanted to run. He just didn’t want them anymore: the messages, the hangs out, the calls at three a.m in the morning. He wanted to run away from Ushijima and the things that started to happen inside his heart without him realizing, until it was too late.

But when the big ass idiot showed up at his door with an apologetic smile and all his luggage waiting in line behind him, because he heard Oikawa was actually looking for a roommate and that he knew how much Ushijima wanted to move out of his parents’ house. That was why Oikawa couldn’t find a reason to say no to him. 

So he let him in. 

He let him enter his house, where the most intimate parts of himself were hidden. Where his room, full of his personal stuff, wasn’t unlocked, so Ushijima could pass by the door and look inside and fucking smile to him, or maybe even enter when Oikawa was studying to lie on his bed and read a book of his own - and it was nonsense.

Oikawa didn’t ask for domesticity with Ushijima. He was just his roommate, for fuck’s sake! But it felt so good, he couldn’t stop wanting more, more, and more. 

They kind of got used to each other’s presence in the apartment. They started to share even more things from time to time: first it was breakfast, after a few days the sofa to watch the same series or movies. Then, it was every meal they could spend together, and after that, some creams in the bathroom. Sometimes, Oikawa fell asleep in Ushijima’s bed and it was unforgivable for him, but he couldn’t help himself. But lastly, it was them sharing the bathroom while brushing their teeth silently making eye contact in the mirror where Oikawa was now looking up at himself.

He was, actually, disappointed right now. Of himself, of course.

Why did he have to say that? After all Ushijima and him spent together, it was actually really unfair to say they were “just roommates. We don’t even like each other that much”. Fuck. He really said that shit and Ushijima heard him, staying still at the doors’ threshold with some chips and stuff on his hand to fill again the bowls at the coffee table that they went to buy together like a fucking couple (of friends). So why, why? Why did he say that? Why did he have the guts to even lie like that to all his friends, depreciating his friendship - fuck, maybe more than that - with Ushijima? Even Sugawara seemed to sense that something was off, but Oikawa was smart enough to run away from the living room to lock himself up in the bathroom and feel pity for himself.

He was a coward, of course. 

But if he couldn’t have said the truth, because it was really scary, and Oikawa had a tendency to run from things that could hurt him.

That thing was Ushijima, of course. And yeah, he didn’t run away in all this time, but maybe it was time before hurting himself more, or worse: before hurting Ushijima even more.

And yes, Oikawa could have accepted the fact that he kind of liked Ushijima a lot, and that maybe the Ace of his University’s Volleyball Team liked him back. But admitting that was kind of putting himself between the sword and the wall, mainly because he hated commitment, and he felt like he wasn’t prepared to be in a relationship with someone he actually cared for. The truth was that he has always been a disappointment to everyone, just like he was now, and having a person actually waiting for good things from him was just a lot. He simply couldn’t do it. He didn’t want anyone to expect him to be a nice person, because he was indeed a horrible person.

Didn’t this prove it?

He heard some knocks at the door and he looked at himself horrified in the mirror. “Oikawa,” Ushijima called him.

Well, fuck.

“Uhm, y-yeah?”

There was a little moment of silence.

And then, his worst nightmare just came to life. “Can I come in?”

“What the-” he sissed, “n-no, of course you can’t!”

“You are taking too much time just to pee.”

“Ushijima, get lost. I want to be inside in peace. Why won’t you let me poop alone?”

“This is not the time of the day when you poop,” Ushijima simply answered.

Oikawa wondered how the fuck Ushijima knew his poop schedule. But he couldn’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, because of course his roommate held to the door knob and started twisting it. “I’m coming in.”

With a curse hanging on the tip of his tongue, Oikawa moved himself away from the door so Ushijima could enter the bathroom too. It wasn’t really big, so they had only a few inches to stay away from each other. 

“You are violating the roommates’ first code, you know that right?” Oikawa said, trying to look offended. But how could he, with Ushijima’s scent filling the room? It was intoxicating. 

When they finally made eye contact, Oikawa felt cornered, even when Ushijima wasn’t all over him, and instead he tried to keep some distance from him.

“I’m not violating it. I knew you came here to do something else.”

“What? You don’t know. I came here to pee.”

“Liar.”

“Well, fuck you, Ushijima, do you have some secret cameras in here so you could spy on me and-” he started rumbling.

“Oikawa.”

“...then just say I didn’t come here to pee, and instead I was here feeling…”

“Oikawa.”

“...pity for myself...? What!?” He blushed, knowing he just gave himself away with his big fucking mouth.

Ushijima gave him a tender smile. “You were feeling pity for yourself? Why?”.

“Because! Why not? It’s something millenials do, you know. It’s young people's tendency, feeling sad and pitiful about themselves and use some knife emojis to represent how much they want to…” He shut himself up, not knowing what he was saying anymore. “Anyways, it was nothing!”

And also he was feeling guilty, because even after hurting Ushijima - he saw it, his face getting sad and sad with each second that passed -, the guy was there feeling worried about him. It was unfair, why did he care about him? Oikawa didn’t deserve it. Why didn’t he get away after all, why was Ushijima still there if he just hurt him?

“Stop thinking too much about things. You should just let it flow".

"That sounds horribly, like something Tendou would say."

"Yes, he always says it to me. But I think he's right." The way he looks at Oikawa makes him shiver. "And you're overthinking, Tooru."

Oikawa blushed hard. Really hard. He felt his face on fire, and the only thing that happened in his mind was to hit Ushijima to hide his blush, which he did. “Who said you can call me Tooru?!”

“I do, because you call me Ushiwaka all the time.”

“But that’s different!!!”

“No, it’s not.” Ushijima’s face was blank. “Now, I really mean it: stop overthinking. It’s gonna be okay.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Oikawa mumbled.

“Why not?” 

“Because! I am just going to hurt you. I will keep doing it, all the time. That’s what I do.”

“And it’s a lie, of course. You don’t hurt me all the time. And if you do, I know there’s a reason behind it.”

Oikawa managed to let a laugh out. “That’s very masochist of you. What if I don’t have a reason and I’m just a very mean person?”

“You’re not. I know you. There must be something bothering you to really hurt somebody, Tooru. You’re not a bad person. And if you make a mistake, then you just have to apologize.”

With a shy look on his face, Oikawa made eye contact with him. Ushijima was so broad that he occupied the whole bathroom.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima’s face filled with shock. Oikawa never called him by his first name.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because of what I said before, in the living room. I know you heard it, I saw your baby face all sad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m just scared.”

Slowly, Ushijima reached for his hand. Oikawa swallowed and allowed him to hold it. “What are we, Tooru?” he asked, serious. Oikawa blushed and just wanted to disappear. 

“I don’t know. We’re not boyfriends…” Although he actually wanted them to be, and it was one of his very dark fantasies. 

But he never stopped to think if Ushijima liked him that way. He never asked, he just assumed. What if he didn’t like him the way he did, and he was just hurt because Oikawa said they just weren’t friends?

“What are the requirements to be boyfriends?” Ushijima asked quietly.

Oikawa blushed harder, if possible, and took his hand away from the grip. “I don’t know, you idiot! You can’t ask it like that, with such a serious-”

“Can I kiss you?” Ushijima interrupted abruptly.

“Yes!” he answered immediately, and then got stiff. “Wait, what?!” his roommate was already leaning near his face, and Oikawa panicked. “Ushijima, no, wait…”

Ushijima stopped a few inches away from his face. “What?”

“I… I have something… to d-do outside… I have to…”

“Oikawa.” Ushijima said, as if he was telling him to shut up.

And Oikawa actually wanted the kiss, so he did shut his big mouth which got him in trouble to begin with.

“Okay.” He squeezed his eyes close, and soon he felt Ushijima’s warm lips against his in a very caste kiss.

They held the kiss for a very short moment, and when they separated, they looked at each other in the eyes. Oikawa was blushing so hard that he thought his face was going to combust, and he noticed a very slight shade of pink in Ushijima’s ears and cheeks, which reassured him a little.

“Now that we kissed, are we boyfriends?” Ushijima questioned, patiently.

Sighing, Oikawa nodded. He tried to look as if he didn’t care at all, but he knew it wouldn’t be believable at Ushijima’s eyes because the man already knew him well. 

“I guess so.”

“And then, can I kiss you again?”

“Ushiwaka, stupid asshole, stop asking so many questions and just kiss me!”

“Alright.”

And so he did.

They made out until they remembered they got guests in their home, but when they got out, no one was at sight.

The embarrassment was bearable just because they got each other there, after all the scary things and instability in their unspoken relationship. Oikawa wanted to feel guilty about letting so much time together pass without talking about their feelings, but with Ushijima by his side holding his hand or giving him little and sweet kisses, he just felt like it wasn’t so important now that they were okay.

Maybe he could run if he got too scared, but now he knew Ushijima would run after him if necessary… and he would even unlock the bathroom door that got on his way.


End file.
